Startling News

Willie Nelson has cut his hair. It's not even shoulder length now. Barely below his ears. Not a stylish makeover, if you ask me. In the newspaper picture he looks like a very senior version of the face I used to see on Dutch Bow Paint cans.

I am distraught.

It seems to me there are some things in this world that we should be able to depend on, and Willie with long hair is one of them. What was he thinking? Or maybe he wasn't thinking, but that's nothing new and he's always been able to hold it together before, without thinking.

So what's the story?

Hmm... maybe he got a little too mellow?

Ah! Maybe his wife caught him cheating and went at him with a pair of scissors while he was sleeping. That at least makes a little sense. And casts her in a less unsavory light than Lorraina Bobbit from years past. It might also explain his gap-toothed grin in the picture, obviously finding her revenge more humorous than harmful. I mean, hair grows back without having to be sewn back on surgically.

A relatively small price to pay for a turn in the hay. Whoa! Did you catch that? I made a rhyme! A small price to pay for a turn in the hay. If we pay attention we might catch my words woven into the lyrics of Willie's next song! Dang!

I wonder what became of the loose locks. Hopefully, they were or will be donated to the charity that uses them in wigs for cancer patients. I'm trying to console myself, here.

Until we know fur sure what has become of the cowboy's braids, beware of rip-offs being offered on E-Bay.

End of Pulic Service Announcement.