Wednesday, May 12, 2010

One Word Can Make a Difference

Amazing how sometimes one word can make such a difference. For Casey on Idol, tonight that word was "Safe!" But sometimes it's not what's said, it's what isn't said.

A month or so back Frank and I were new members of a small business group, and when asked to submit a bio for their web page, I did. I was as concise as I felt I could be, considering there are two of us and we've been in business 18 years. But nonetheless the gentleman (so to speak) in charge e-mailed me back asking me to shorten it. I did.

At the next meeting as he approached the place where I was sitting, I asked him over my shoulder, "Did you get my e-mail?" He said, without slowing down, without even glancing in my direction, "Yes. I didn't have time to read it." That seemed to set the tone for the remainder of that meeting, which quickly and dramatically went downhill for us from there. Consequently we resigned our membership.

The one word from him that would have made all the difference is... "Sorry." And how much energy does it take to look at someone as you're saying it, maybe even with a smile?

I'm a firm believer that everything that happens, however, happens for the best. As much as we tried to fit into that group, it was like trying to be comfortable in someone else's shoes. Not a good fit. We had planned to wait out the 3 months for which we had paid dues, but this combination of factors, in our view, was Life (capital L) letting us know the time to move on was Now (capital N).

On Idol it's the voters who send contestants either home or onto the next level. I always feel bad for those leaving the competition. Fact is though, some of the "losers" have made it bigger than some of the "winners." As Annabella, my granddaughter, told me once when she was 4 -- "It's just part of Life, Gramma."

I always find it interesting how we may have a goal, a wish, a plan for ourselves and our lives. We want to go "here" and do "this," but I believe there's a Bigger Plan and if our place in that plan is to go "there" and do "that," Life has a way of letting us know we need to change direction. Once we get the message and find our footing again on the path that's meant for us, it seems so obvious and feels so right.

Makes me think of a little verse that came to me years ago, which I'm happy to share. "When life is good, the air is sweet, and the earth is soft beneath our feet." When you are where you are meant to be, doing what you are meant to do, damn! It just don't get no better. A challenge is one thing, a battle is something else. Don't confuse one with the other. If you're a round peg, don't waste your time or energy trying to force youself into a square hole. To mix metaphors. As I often do.

And as for Casey, I imagine voters will send him home next week, but he's in the top three and wherever he goes, I hope Life continues to treat him well. Yes he's cute, yes, he can sing. But more than anything else about Casey, I really like his energy. There's a gentleness about him that strikes me as sincere. Also a certain strength. He strikes me as the kind of guy who wouldn't mind looking you in the eye with a quick smile to say, if appropriate, that one word that is so often lost in silence... "Sorry."

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