Things And Other Stuff

The more things you have, the more things you have to take care of. You have a house? Gotta take care of it. House with a yard? Gotta take care of the yard too. House with a yard with a pool? Now you gotta take care of the pool as well. Vegetable garden? Weeds to pull.

The more things you have, the more things you have to worry about. You have a car? Gotta worry about it breaking down, or being scratched or dinged (or worse) or stolen. You have a car that's a convertible? Now you have to worry about someone slashing the cloth top. Your car have a nice in-dash stereo system? Gotta worry about it being taken.

The more things you have, the more things you have to figure out how to use. I can't even name all the pieces of electronic equipment my husband has foisted upon me, let alone use any of them.

I can remember when life was simple. A friend would phone me and we'd meet for lunch. Now? A "friend" is someone on your FaceBook page, whom you may or may not even know. Is someone trying to reach me? I have to check my home phone and my cell phone for messages. I have to check for a text message as well. I have to check my e-mail, and even the mail box out front because some old timers still send something now and then via the post office. I have to check my FaceBook, even though I've only had a one-hour class and haven't the foggiest idea what I'm doing there, I just navigate from place to place as best I can -- a little like a drunk sailor. And of course when I blog, I have to check for comments... just in case.

Probably shouldn't even start on the beeping. Yet here I go. It seems as though everything in my life is beeping at me these days. The microwave. The toaster oven. The washing machine. My cell phone. Though some things ding instead. My car, my truck, I'm sure there's more, but can't bring them to my frazzled mind at the moment.

I must, however, mention the sound the house alarm makes when we walk in and have just-so-long to get the key pad to deactivate it. There's also the sound it makes when we forget to deactivate the motion detector at night, and the cat decides to stretch in the living room while we're in our bedroom with the door closed. Next thing you know all hell has broken loose because I wake up thinking OMG SOMEONE HAS BROKEN IN and Frank thinks something like "damn cat" and I think "Someone could be getting ready to rob and shoot us and he's rolling outta bed like he's heading for the fridge to get a snack???" and the neighbors are thinking, "What the...? Again?"

There was a time when my life plan was to live at the Ashram, once my boys grew up and left home. A quiet place set deep in the forest of rambling foothills. But then I met Frank. The greatest distraction of my life. He visited the Ashram with me a few times, and we toyed with my former plan even after we were married, but for a variety of reasons chose to remain grounded in reality instead. Just as well. We have made trips to the Ashram and have watched it change over the years. Now it's pretty darned civilized, itself. Not like back in the good old days of kerosene lamps, wood burning stoves and outhouses.

Which brings to mind the first time I went there. Hiking through the woods I heard a "mmmmmm" sound in the distance. My heartbeat quickened. Someone was chanting! It grew louder upon my approach, and I discovered... it was a chain saw. Someone was cutting firewood.

But at least the saw wasn't beeping or dinging at me.

Though on my last trip I did spot a microwave on the counter in the backroom of the little carpeted, air conditioned gift shop (right next to the ladies room that has running water and a toilet that flushes). No more dirt roads, either. Some paved, some gravel. The vegetarian meals are still beyond delicious though, which makes it a nice place to visit but -- wouldn't wanna live there. Hmmm... Now that I've reminded myself of the place, we might want to head that way one day soon for a little get-away.