On Again Off Again

Sometimes I look around at my house and think, "Oh, its so... outdated." I start to get dressed but nothing looks good or feels right. Caller ID tells me a stranger is calling and I have to answer it because it might be business, but I don't really care that much. I eat, doesn't matter what. I feel... off my oats, as horse people say. It's not that things seem wrong, they just don't seem... quite right.

I am a huge believer in Life -- with a capital L. I practice what I teach in classes and to clients... that despite our own hopes and desires and goals and dreams, there is a greater Plan -- with a capital P -- I'm not a big Bible person but there is certainly wisdom to be found there, such as in Jeremiah 29:11 where we can read in the King James version, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end," and in the New International Version, "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." It's all good.

However, Taoism teaches in all good there is bad and in all bad there is good, and these messages from disparate cultures reconcile when you look not at but into them. If in your belief system God is good, then the Devil is bad, and both are at play in our lives, like it or not. I personally prefer to believe that on the path of Life, moving in the right direction is good. When we step off that path to head in the wrong direction, it can get... bad -- to varying degree.

When you're feeling "not quite right," this is Life letting you know you need to look around you, reassess your decisions and reorient yourself. Regardless of the best intentions, none of us travels our path alone, and our interactions with others affect us, sometimes for the good, sometimes not, and often without our realizing it. Until we get that feeling... the whisper that is Life saying... "Wrong..."

Our awareness isn't always instantaneous. There might be a hint of unease that we ignore, even more than once. Like a breeze that seems harmless -- until red flags start fluttering, then flapping fast and furious saying "Look at me! Look at me!" Unfortunately, these are easier to see in retrospect than at the time you are caught up in a relationship with someone who isn't being open, honest and honorable. Life is about change. Sometimes even something that starts out right, can turn wrong. This is Life keeping us on our toes.

But we pride ourselves on using good judgment, so we stubbornly hold on when the wiser option is to let go. Sooner or later though the relationship cracks or snaps or shudders and crashes into disintegrate parts that cannot be put back together again with any semblance of sanity. This too is part of the Plan... the part that sooner or later gets us back on track, back heading in the right direction, back ON our oats. Ahhh.... yes....

When this happens to me I look around at my house and find it charming and homey. It doesn't matter what I wear, I feel like I could sashay on any runway. When I answer the phone it's with a smile that can be heard, and my tummy feels fine with any food or no food at all. This is Life saying to me, "Don't be too hard on yourself, mistakes are part of the Plan. You've learned from yours. Good job. Welcome back."